When God Has Other Plans

Last Sunday morning, I was scheduled to serve as a prayer counselor at my church. Other Sundays, I’m a member of the worship team. I was also looking forward to participating in chapel service at a women’s shelter in a couple of weeks. I love my church family and all the opportunities to serve.

Back to last Sunday. I woke up to my usual alarm at 6:00, plenty of time to sip coffee with my husband John and walk our lovable Shih Tzu named Paavo. Our dog is our only kid, and we can’t imagine life without him.

But instead of walking Paavo and going to church, the morning was spent at the local animal emergency room. Paavo had begun to tremble and whimper, obviously in excruciating pain. In the waiting room, I texted our prayer team leader, explained why I would not be in church, and asked for prayer. She immediately replied that they would be praying for us and “sweet Paavo.”

After examining Paavo and giving him a pain injection, the doctor explained that Paavo was likely suffering from intervertebral disc disease (IVDD). Since Paavo could walk, his condition could be managed without surgery. 

My heart sank as I listened to the discharge instructions: 4 weeks of strict rest in a crate or confined area to allow healing. No running, jumping or excessive walking. Paavo would have to be carried outdoors for potty, then right back in the house. Plus three medications. Paavo loves to run in our yard and go for long walks. I was heartbroken for him.

Obviously, schedules had to be cleared. My family needed me at home for the next few weeks. That meant no worship team or prayer team. And I felt a twinge when I realized I’d have to miss our chapel service at the women’s shelter. Months of saying “yes” came to a temporary screeching halt. 

But I am reminded that challenges and disappointments are also opportunities to grow in grace. I may think I have it all figured out — where and how I will serve — but God reminds me that I am not in control. 

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

We are a week into Paavo’s convalescence and recovery. He improves every day and wants so badly to run, jump and go for walks. For a change of scene, I sometimes carry him to another part of our neighborhood. He sniffs and sniffs for just a few minutes, just being a dog and savoring this all-too-brief break from IVDD “jail.”

I look forward to returning to my church activities in a few weeks. But meanwhile, God has other plans. When I see a smile in Paavo’s eyes after we play a gentle game, my heart melts. His expression softens as John strokes him and reassures him. We softly tell Paavo that he’s going to be all right, that he needs to rest so he can heal.

“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” Romans 12:2

Sometimes following Jesus leads to an unexpected bend in the road — a detour in a carefully drawn roadmap. But those interruptions can bring unexpected graces in ordinary circumstances. It can be as simple as a smile on my dog’s face, where there once was fear and pain. Or seeing my husband with renewed affection, as he soothes and cares for Paavo. 

With Jesus as my Lord and Savior, God can transform me through my circumstances. He loves me as no one else can — enough to die for me. 

How about you? Are interrupted plans leaving you discouraged and frustrated? If you haven’t already, maybe this is the time to put your life in God’s hands and accept that gift of salvation. 

Waiting for Spring

Late February is a tricky time of year here in Boise. We enjoy increasing hours of daylight and the warmth of the sun. Tender green shoots are emerging from the long frozen ground. And then we open the door one morning and see…snow!

Yesterday’s coating of snow has melted, however, and the familiar sweet tug of spring has returned. In our garden, the rhubarb and day lilies are coming up. There’s a profusion of buds on our lilac shrub and plum tree. When I walk our dog, I scan neighborhood yards for purple crocuses, those cheerful flowers that bravely poke through the snow.

I can hardly wait for planting time, when I can plunge my hands into the soil and smell the earth. Tending the garden brings peace and joy, as many avid gardeners will tell you.

Late winter and early spring is an emotional time for many people. Witnessing the changing seasons affects us at the deepest level, in our hearts. Maybe we’re recalling that moment when our Creator reached down and formed the first human from part of the ground.

“then the LORD God formed the man of dust from the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living creature.” Genesis 2:7 (ESV)

Come to think of it, humanity’s first days were spent in a garden.

“And the LORD God planted a garden in Eden, in the east, and there he put the man whom he had formed.” Genesis 2:8 (ESV)

We join with all of creation in praising God.

“For you shall go out in joy and be led forth in peace; the mountains and the hills before you shall break forth into singing, and all the trees of the field shall clap their hands.” Isaiah 55:12 (ESV)

“Let the heavens be glad, and let the earth rejoice; let the sea roar, and all that fills it; let the field exult, and everything in it! Then shall all the trees of the forest sing for joy!” Psalm 96:11-12 (ESV)

Grateful that God has given us the ability to recognize the beauty of every season. I’m praying that the promise of spring reminds us all of the promise of the cross and gift of salvation through Jesus Christ!

Giving Thanks, Then and Now

As Thanksgiving winds down, I am realizing that for the first time in two years, I am excited about the holiday season. The years 2020 and 2021 were challenging and traumatic for everyone, and my family had its share of personal sorrows and worries. My mom passed away in October, 2020 and my mother-in-law in February, 2021. My husband John had open heart surgery in September, 2021, during our state’s worst COVID-19 surge. Needless to say, we were almost too exhausted to be merry.

But this year, the childlike excitement is returning. While Thanksgiving dinner was in the oven, I began putting up the Christmas decorations. I have a yearning to listen to Christmas music. I keep pointing out to John how cute our decorations look. This Thanksgiving, I’m grateful and relieved to be emerging from the darkest shadows of grief. Bittersweet feelings are still there, but joy abounds as well!

This morning, I carefully lay a strand of Christmas lights behind mementos that we keep on the fireplace mantel. There’s the set of bowls my mom gave us a few Christmases ago. Here are the hummingbird feeders John’s daughter gave us. And here is a tiny bear figurine — I love bears — that I bought for myself.

Each item is a reminder of treasured memories and people. Joys and sorrows. Gratitude for the way God sees us through the good and the not so good times.

“Then Samuel took a stone and set it up between Mizpah and Shen. He named it Ebenezer, saying, ‘Thus far the Lord has helped us.’” 1 Samuel 7:12 (NIV)

I think of the stone that the prophet Samuel placed as a memorial to God’s faithfulness and protection. The stone was called Ebenezer, and it symbolized God’s help in victory on the battlefield. But even if we have never fought in actual combat, we face other kinds of battles — anxiety, grief, overwhelm, discouragement, pandemic, job loss. In the midst of these struggles, we can feel alone and defeated. We may wonder if we’ll ever laugh or celebrate again.

As I look at the mementos that sit on our mantel, I realize that each one is a kind of memorial stone. They remind me of how God brings joy, laughter and love — and how He carries us through grief and worry.

“Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good.
His love endures forever.” Psalm 136:1 (NIV)

This year, as I savor the sights and sounds of Christmas, I will indulge in my childlike excitement. The holidays are still tinged with sadness, but the sense of wonder and adoration for the Christ child envelops us. I will remember God’s faithfulness in years past and give thanks that His love endures forever.

A New Thing

Before I sat down to write, I knew it had been a long time since my last post in this blog. But I was surprised when I saw that my most recent post was nearly two years ago! Like the last post, I am writing today as temperatures drop and winter approaches. As I cut back some of our shrubs and flowering vines, the backyard is beginning to look barren. In fact, the past two years have seemed barren, with never-ending reports of COVID-19 lockdowns, surges and new strains. 

I turned 60 this year, which means I am considered “senior” in some circles. The occasional senior discount is always welcome! But I can’t help noticing the stereotypes that persist about people over 60. Even in some churches, it’s not unheard of to see a maximum cutoff age of 45 for ordained ministry. In many ways, the world tells us that after a “certain age,” we are barren — not just regarding our ability to bear children, but our ability to contribute and inspire. 

 

I beg to differ. I’ve lost count of the number of older people God uses in the Bible. There’s Noah, Moses, Sarah and Elizabeth. Hannah cried out to the Lord and gave birth to Samuel. Naomi lost her sons and Ruth lost her husband in an age when no husband or sons meant no future. But both women carried on with faith and grit and found new hope. Barrenness is not a life sentence in the Lord’s eyes.

“…the LORD remembered her plea, and in due time she gave birth to a son. She named him Samuel, for she said, ‘I asked the LORD for him.’” 1 Samuel

 1:19-20 (NLT)

“The LORD kept his word and did for Sarah exactly what he had promised.” Genesis 21:1 (NLT)

“Then the women of the town said to Naomi, “Praise the LORD, who has now provided a redeemer for your family! May this child be famous in Israel. May he restore your youth and care for you in your old age. For he is the son of your daughter-in-law who loves you and has been better to you than seven sons!” Ruth 4:14-15 (NLT)

 

But barrenness doesn’t always refer to childlessness. We can experience many kinds of dry spells that make life seem like a wasteland. We long to conceive and give birth to something new. We cry out to God and wonder if our cries are heard. 

 

At times during the past two years, I felt adrift in a spiritual wasteland. I believed that something new was waiting to be born, and I rushed here and there trying to make it happen. I busied myself with church work, becoming a Deacon and eventually Deacon Moderator. The work blessed me richly, but I still felt depleted and sad. Then I immersed myself in Zen Buddhism, where I met lovely people but still felt spiritually and creatively exhausted.

 

Things began to turn around this summer and fall. I was intrigued by a sign announcing that a new church was holding worship services about a block from our house. “Love God. Love people,” the sign said. Then a couple of weeks ago, I was waiting for a city bus, heading home after doing errands. A young man sat next to me and began talking about Jesus and the Bible. 

 

“I hope you and your husband will open that book,” he said. We did. And I finally started attending the new church. It’s tiny — 30 people at most — but growing.

 

At my new church, we are studying the book of Ruth. I am reminded that God uses our circumstances to achieve His purpose for our lives. Like Ruth and Naomi, we can feel lost and even bitter. We work and wonder if we are still part of God’s plan. 

Image by ollis-picture via Pixabay

 

But God still has a purpose for me. I see hints of it with every “coincidence” and prompting. Where I once saw bewilderment and disappointment, I now sense a creative stirring. A quickening. A new story waiting to be born.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)

“Forget the former things;

do not dwell on the past.

See, I am doing a new thing!

Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?

I am making a way in the wilderness

and streams in the wasteland.” Isaiah 43:18-19 (NIV)

 

How about you? When have you experienced barrenness and cried out to God? What are the wombs that God has opened in your life? What new thing is waiting to be born?

When Winter Comes Early

“Consider the lilies, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.” Luke 12:27 (ESV)

Our first snowfall cam a bit early this year. In many ways, the year 2020 has seemed liked an endless winter. During the COVID-19 lockdown in the spring, I was grateful for the refreshing beauty of our Idaho garden. Throughout the summer, I wanted to hold onto the colors and fragrances of the roses, mock orange, day lilies and — most of all — the purple lilac.

 

Purple lilac is the state flower of my native state, New Hampshire, and its sweet fragrance always triggers fond childhood memories. This year, the memories were especially poignant as my mom moved into a nursing home after a heart attack in July. The restrictions of COVID-19 made visits few and far between. I spent many afternoons sitting in our backyard, talking to my mom on the phone while looking at our beloved flowering shrubs and vines. 

When my mom passed away in October, the dwindling daylight hours matched my darkened state of mind. Grief became a heavy blanket that threatened to smother me. I desperately looked for a sign of hope. 

I found that sign in our lilac shrub, which holds springtime in its branches, even when winter comes early! You see, lilacs begin to form next year’s flower buds soon after they finish blooming. If you look closely, you can see these buds at the ends of the branches. 

It’s like seeing next spring in the middle of winter! I love that about plants — when the landscape looks dead and dreary, good things are already happening. 

“The flowers appear on the earth, the time of singing has come, and the voice of the turtledove is heard in our land.” Song of Solomon 2:12 (ESV)

Just as we can picture buds forming in the dead of winter, we can have faith that new beginnings are already underway. Grief, disappointment and other difficult passages bring winter’s chill into our lives. But hope has a way of sneaking up on us, even if we can’t see it at the moment. I see next year’s lilac buds and remember new life, resurrection, unexpected joy. 

Amen.

Our Own Worst Enemy?

As I read my Bible-in-a-year chapters the other day, I was struck by a couple of verses in Psalm 69. With online Easter worship still fresh in my mind, the verses reminded me of the power of Christ’s love, sacrifice and resurrection.

We’ve been living through strange and frightening times with this pandemic. As we shelter in place, it’s easy to feel besieged — by loneliness, boredom, fear, viruses. Our fears loom large after yet another sleepless night.

“Those who hate me without reason outnumber the hairs of my head; many are my enemies without cause, those who seek to destroy me. I am forced to restore what I did not steal.”
Ps 69:4

Yet when we feel overwhelmed by it all, we remember the love that led One to “restore what He did did not steal.” We can loosen our grip, even if it’s just a little at first. As my 12-step program teaches, we can surrender to our higher power “just for today.”

“Do not let the floodwaters engulf me or the depths swallow me up or the pit close its mouth over me.” Ps 69:15

But can’t our own thoughts behave like enemies? We worry about loved ones, opinions of others, even the next Presidential election. I know that when I’m tired or overwhelmed, my own thoughts seem to “engulf me” or “swallow me up.” Can you relate?

“Grace and peace be yours in abundance through the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord.” 2 Peter 1:2

“We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” 2 Corinthians 10:5

Whether a threat is external or internal, God’s grace and peace never change. We are the ones who come and go, who hold tightly to our fears. But the more we seek knowledge of God, the more we can recognize God’s grace and peace.

Grateful for the One who paid what He did not owe, restored what He did not steal.

I hope this post finds you well!

Tarnished Silver Lining?

I had big plans for the COVID-19 stay-at-home period. I would stay positive and savor the renewed sense of fellowship and caring I was witnessing in our community. Neighbors ran errands (and still do!) for their at-risk neighbors. Stores offered cure-side delivery and set aside shopping hours for elderly and high-risk customers. Brightly colored, encouraging chalk art appeared on local sidewalks. 

In short, we counted our blessings and noted how staying apart was drawing us closer. It was easy to find a silver lining to this dangerous time. 

But now, that silver lining has tarnished. Terror seeps in as the death toll continues to rise. On the news, we see field hospitals in New York’s Central Park. We hear reports of thousands of deaths in nursing homes — more than we previously realized. We worry obsessively about vulnerable loved ones. We miss seeing friends at the coffee shop, church or the gym. We carry out the surreal tasks of making protective masks, rationing toilet paper and wondering if the grocery shelves will be stocked today. In fact, it’s been weeks since I’ve set foot in a store.

How do I “stay positive” when each day looks less and less like the life I took for granted? The truth is, I can’t. None of us can, and we don’t have to because we can’t hold it together indefinitely.

We’re in good company, in fact. Even faith heroes of the Bible had moments when all they could do was wring their hands and sit with their pain. King David said it well, many times:

“My heart is afflicted, and withered like grass;

I even forget to eat my bread.” Psalm 102:4

“I am worn out from my groaning.

All night long I flood my bed with weeping

and drench my couch with tears.” Psalm 6:6

Then we are reminded that we are not alone:

“Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” 1 Peter 5:7

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” John 14:27

Sometimes all we can do is lean on the One who can carry all our burdens. We still can’t see beyond the next report of confirmed COVID-19 cases. We still don’t know when we’ll be able to browse in a bookstore or celebrate a friend’s birthday in person. 

All we can do is take God’s word for it — that we are loved with a love that is bigger than we can comprehend. Somehow that love keeps us hanging on,  giving us eyes to see our present day sacrifices as acts of love. 

So we get out of bed another day, still bewildered by the statistics and warnings that bombard us. Who wouldn’t be? 

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30

I’ve often relied on this verse when my soul needs rest and refreshment. But today, I am struck by the words, “learn from me.” During a time of sheltering in place and social distancing, I certainly have the time and space to sit at His feet and listen, as did Martha’s sister Mary:

“She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said.” Luke 10:39

For now, I will take Jesus up on His offer, not just to find rest, but to learn from Him. Maybe the lessons will come during prayer, or quiet moments in the garden, or even in the midst of worry. 

“I will give you rest.”

We sure need it.

Ready and Unsteady

At my church’s Christmas Eve service last night, we recited a call to worship that I needed to hear. It was Madeleine L’Engle’s First Coming, which begins:

He did not wait till the world was ready,
till men and nations were at peace.
He came when the Heavens were unsteady,
and prisoners cried out for release.

As we recited these lines, my thoughts immediately turned toward national and global issues: international conflict, refugees, climate change. I had needed that reminder that God sent his Son in a time of deep anguish. Jesus walked among us as we were, not as He hoped we would be.

But during my quiet time today, it occurred to me that L’Engle’s poem also speaks to me as an individual. How many times have I shied away from a prompting or calling, feeling “unsteady” and certainly not “ready”? But we have a God who works in us when we step into God’s plan.

“For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.” Philippians 1:6 (NASB)

It defies conventional wisdom, doesn’t it? So many times we are required to pass a test, prove our qualifications, list our experiences, produce references. It’s no wonder that we shrug off that calling, assuming that God “can’t mean me.”

This year, I’ve challenged myself to follow those promptings. I began the formation process and took my novice vows for the Order of Ecumenical Franciscans. I volunteered to teach an adult Sunday School class. After months — years, actually — of discernment, I am considering training to become a spiritual director.

“The LORD directs the steps of the godly. He delights in every detail of their lives.” Psalm 37:23 (NLT)

Do I feel qualified to do by of these things? Nope. For now I will rest in the knowledge that God’s perspective is a heck of a lot better than mine. If I am correctly discerning a calling, the necessary guidance and pathways will be there if I cooperate. And God’s loving course corrections will keep me moving toward His purpose for my life.

So take heart in God’s purpose for your life. As Madeleine L’Engle wrote,

“We cannot wait till the world is sane
to raise our songs with joyful voice.”

Season’s blessings to you!

5 Verses for the Caregiver Journey

“Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute. Speak up and judge fairly; defend the rights of the poor and needy.” Proverbs 31:8-9 (NIV)

Like millions of other adults in the United Stares, I am a caregiver. If you are reading this, chances are you either are a caregiver or know someone who is a caregiver. In their 2015 report, the AARP Public Policy Institute and National Caregiver Alliance found that 34.2 million adults had been a caregiver to an adult age 50 or older in the previous 12 months.

There are many moments of worry and uncertainty for both caregivers and loved ones. We can feel inadequate during this life-affirming journey, as we hope to give the best care and share joys as well as worries with our loved ones. I have found Scripture verses that provide encouragement during those times, and would like to share them with you.

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.” Proverbs 3:5-6 (NLT). We look to God for guidance — in prayer and waiting on Him. When I feel inadequate to the task, it’s because I am — unless I turn to God, that is! God has the eternal perspective and infinite wisdom to guide our steps.

“In peace I will lie down and sleep, for you alone, LORD, make me dwell in safety.” Psalm 4:8 (NIV) This verse is a good reminder for caregivers and care recipients alike that a place of peace is always with us. The Greek word for “safety” also means “refuge.” The Greek for “dwell” means to settle, remain, or even marry. No matter what is worrying us, the Lord invites us to live permanently in this refuge!

“I thank Christ Jesus our Lord, who has given me the strength for my work because he knew he could trust me.” 1 Timothy 1:12 (CEV) Here’s some more Greek for you: the origin for “strengthen” also means “fill will power.” Our strength comes from Christ, who not only provides but fills us with His strength.  And I remember that Christ has faith in me as well!

“Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” 1 Peter 5:7 (NIV) Yes He does. He not only lets us lay our worries at His feet; He welcomes it and loves it when we rely on Him.

“Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute. Speak up and judge fairly; defend the rights of the poor and needy.” Proverbs 31:8-9  Caregiving is a beautiful, truly pro-life act. As we serve as the hands and feet of Jesus, we remember this command.

Monday Eye-Opener: Decisions, Decisions

Decisions, decisions. What to do first? As you sip your coffee, do you find yourself running through your to-do list? Is there a deadline or decision that kept you awake Sunday night? Something about Monday morning makes those tasks and decisions loom larger than usual. 

Help sure would be welcome about now!

“Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path.” Psalm 119:105 (NIV)

God’s word indeed offers unsurpassed wisdom to help us cope with deadlines, decisions and uncertainty. I find that the more I read and meditate on Scripture, the more sure-footed I feel in stressful times. Memorizing verses gives me a ready supply of hope and peace at a moment’s notice.

“But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, reasonable, full of mercy and good fruits, unwavering, without hypocrisy.” James 3:17 (NASB)

Where else can you find wisdom with all these attributes? And God’s wisdom and mercy are 100 percent reliable, “unwavering, without hypocrisy.” All we have to do is ask for God’s guidance — and most importantly, listen with a humble, teachable, and obedient heart.

“Call to me and I will answer you, and will tell you great and hidden things that you have not known.” Jeremiah 33:3 (ESV)

So as the week begins, let’s remember that the wisest, most reliable ally we could ask for is with us always. He wants to hear your prayers and questions. He’s never too busy or stressed out. Bring your concerns to Him, whether they’re about work, a relationship, school, health or anything else that kept you awake last night. What are the “great and hidden things” that you can learn, if you only ask?

Have a blessed week!