A New Thing

Before I sat down to write, I knew it had been a long time since my last post in this blog. But I was surprised when I saw that my most recent post was nearly two years ago! Like the last post, I am writing today as temperatures drop and winter approaches. As I cut back some of our shrubs and flowering vines, the backyard is beginning to look barren. In fact, the past two years have seemed barren, with never-ending reports of COVID-19 lockdowns, surges and new strains. 

I turned 60 this year, which means I am considered “senior” in some circles. The occasional senior discount is always welcome! But I can’t help noticing the stereotypes that persist about people over 60. Even in some churches, it’s not unheard of to see a maximum cutoff age of 45 for ordained ministry. In many ways, the world tells us that after a “certain age,” we are barren — not just regarding our ability to bear children, but our ability to contribute and inspire. 

 

I beg to differ. I’ve lost count of the number of older people God uses in the Bible. There’s Noah, Moses, Sarah and Elizabeth. Hannah cried out to the Lord and gave birth to Samuel. Naomi lost her sons and Ruth lost her husband in an age when no husband or sons meant no future. But both women carried on with faith and grit and found new hope. Barrenness is not a life sentence in the Lord’s eyes.

“…the LORD remembered her plea, and in due time she gave birth to a son. She named him Samuel, for she said, ‘I asked the LORD for him.’” 1 Samuel

 1:19-20 (NLT)

“The LORD kept his word and did for Sarah exactly what he had promised.” Genesis 21:1 (NLT)

“Then the women of the town said to Naomi, “Praise the LORD, who has now provided a redeemer for your family! May this child be famous in Israel. May he restore your youth and care for you in your old age. For he is the son of your daughter-in-law who loves you and has been better to you than seven sons!” Ruth 4:14-15 (NLT)

 

But barrenness doesn’t always refer to childlessness. We can experience many kinds of dry spells that make life seem like a wasteland. We long to conceive and give birth to something new. We cry out to God and wonder if our cries are heard. 

 

At times during the past two years, I felt adrift in a spiritual wasteland. I believed that something new was waiting to be born, and I rushed here and there trying to make it happen. I busied myself with church work, becoming a Deacon and eventually Deacon Moderator. The work blessed me richly, but I still felt depleted and sad. Then I immersed myself in Zen Buddhism, where I met lovely people but still felt spiritually and creatively exhausted.

 

Things began to turn around this summer and fall. I was intrigued by a sign announcing that a new church was holding worship services about a block from our house. “Love God. Love people,” the sign said. Then a couple of weeks ago, I was waiting for a city bus, heading home after doing errands. A young man sat next to me and began talking about Jesus and the Bible. 

 

“I hope you and your husband will open that book,” he said. We did. And I finally started attending the new church. It’s tiny — 30 people at most — but growing.

 

At my new church, we are studying the book of Ruth. I am reminded that God uses our circumstances to achieve His purpose for our lives. Like Ruth and Naomi, we can feel lost and even bitter. We work and wonder if we are still part of God’s plan. 

Image by ollis-picture via Pixabay

 

But God still has a purpose for me. I see hints of it with every “coincidence” and prompting. Where I once saw bewilderment and disappointment, I now sense a creative stirring. A quickening. A new story waiting to be born.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)

“Forget the former things;

do not dwell on the past.

See, I am doing a new thing!

Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?

I am making a way in the wilderness

and streams in the wasteland.” Isaiah 43:18-19 (NIV)

 

How about you? When have you experienced barrenness and cried out to God? What are the wombs that God has opened in your life? What new thing is waiting to be born?

When Winter Comes Early

“Consider the lilies, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.” Luke 12:27 (ESV)

Our first snowfall cam a bit early this year. In many ways, the year 2020 has seemed liked an endless winter. During the COVID-19 lockdown in the spring, I was grateful for the refreshing beauty of our Idaho garden. Throughout the summer, I wanted to hold onto the colors and fragrances of the roses, mock orange, day lilies and — most of all — the purple lilac.

 

Purple lilac is the state flower of my native state, New Hampshire, and its sweet fragrance always triggers fond childhood memories. This year, the memories were especially poignant as my mom moved into a nursing home after a heart attack in July. The restrictions of COVID-19 made visits few and far between. I spent many afternoons sitting in our backyard, talking to my mom on the phone while looking at our beloved flowering shrubs and vines. 

When my mom passed away in October, the dwindling daylight hours matched my darkened state of mind. Grief became a heavy blanket that threatened to smother me. I desperately looked for a sign of hope. 

I found that sign in our lilac shrub, which holds springtime in its branches, even when winter comes early! You see, lilacs begin to form next year’s flower buds soon after they finish blooming. If you look closely, you can see these buds at the ends of the branches. 

It’s like seeing next spring in the middle of winter! I love that about plants — when the landscape looks dead and dreary, good things are already happening. 

“The flowers appear on the earth, the time of singing has come, and the voice of the turtledove is heard in our land.” Song of Solomon 2:12 (ESV)

Just as we can picture buds forming in the dead of winter, we can have faith that new beginnings are already underway. Grief, disappointment and other difficult passages bring winter’s chill into our lives. But hope has a way of sneaking up on us, even if we can’t see it at the moment. I see next year’s lilac buds and remember new life, resurrection, unexpected joy. 

Amen.

He Knows How I Feel

It had been a stressful day, to put it mildly. I felt lost. Small. And so tired. On days like this, I often forget to eat a meal — usually lunch. I ate half my breakfast and tossed out the rest when I was sure no one was looking. When it was time for my evening prayer and devotions, I honestly couldn’t remember if I had eaten lunch or not. And you know what? I was even too tired for the Lord.

But this year,  I had renewed my commitment to my spiritual practice, and my spiritual director had encouraged me to stick with it, even when I did not feel like it. So I begrudgingly picked up my iPad and opened to the Daily Lectionary readings that I had bookmarked. Who knows? Maybe something will click.

“My heart is blighted and withered like grass; I forget to eat my food.” Psalm 102:4

Okay, so maybe one Person saw me throw away my half-eaten oatmeal and toast. 

God has these gentle ways of showing us that He sees. He hears. He knows how we feel. 

This moment of recognition gave new life to the assurance that “you are not alone.” King David knew this and praised God for it in the Psalms.

“In the day of my trouble I call on you, for you will answer me.” Psalm 82:6

“O LORD my God, I cried to you for help, and you have healed me.” Psalm 30:2

Hagar, Sarah’s slave, found “God Who Sees Me” — El Roi — after fleeing mistreatment from Sarah. 

“She gave this name to the LORD who spoke to her: “You are the God who sees me,” for she said, “I have now seen the One who sees me.”” Genesis 16:13

God sees you, too. He wants you to know and believe that you are not alone. The first step is to show up. Do you have a regular spiritual practice? When you devote that time and attention to the Lord, you will recognize God’s loving presence and guidance in your life. 

He is waiting to delight and surprise you — and remind you that you are His beloved child.

Be blessed!

Ready and Unsteady

At my church’s Christmas Eve service last night, we recited a call to worship that I needed to hear. It was Madeleine L’Engle’s First Coming, which begins:

He did not wait till the world was ready,
till men and nations were at peace.
He came when the Heavens were unsteady,
and prisoners cried out for release.

As we recited these lines, my thoughts immediately turned toward national and global issues: international conflict, refugees, climate change. I had needed that reminder that God sent his Son in a time of deep anguish. Jesus walked among us as we were, not as He hoped we would be.

But during my quiet time today, it occurred to me that L’Engle’s poem also speaks to me as an individual. How many times have I shied away from a prompting or calling, feeling “unsteady” and certainly not “ready”? But we have a God who works in us when we step into God’s plan.

“For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.” Philippians 1:6 (NASB)

It defies conventional wisdom, doesn’t it? So many times we are required to pass a test, prove our qualifications, list our experiences, produce references. It’s no wonder that we shrug off that calling, assuming that God “can’t mean me.”

This year, I’ve challenged myself to follow those promptings. I began the formation process and took my novice vows for the Order of Ecumenical Franciscans. I volunteered to teach an adult Sunday School class. After months — years, actually — of discernment, I am considering training to become a spiritual director.

“The LORD directs the steps of the godly. He delights in every detail of their lives.” Psalm 37:23 (NLT)

Do I feel qualified to do by of these things? Nope. For now I will rest in the knowledge that God’s perspective is a heck of a lot better than mine. If I am correctly discerning a calling, the necessary guidance and pathways will be there if I cooperate. And God’s loving course corrections will keep me moving toward His purpose for my life.

So take heart in God’s purpose for your life. As Madeleine L’Engle wrote,

“We cannot wait till the world is sane
to raise our songs with joyful voice.”

Season’s blessings to you!

Monday Eye-Opener: Decisions, Decisions

Decisions, decisions. What to do first? As you sip your coffee, do you find yourself running through your to-do list? Is there a deadline or decision that kept you awake Sunday night? Something about Monday morning makes those tasks and decisions loom larger than usual. 

Help sure would be welcome about now!

“Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path.” Psalm 119:105 (NIV)

God’s word indeed offers unsurpassed wisdom to help us cope with deadlines, decisions and uncertainty. I find that the more I read and meditate on Scripture, the more sure-footed I feel in stressful times. Memorizing verses gives me a ready supply of hope and peace at a moment’s notice.

“But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, reasonable, full of mercy and good fruits, unwavering, without hypocrisy.” James 3:17 (NASB)

Where else can you find wisdom with all these attributes? And God’s wisdom and mercy are 100 percent reliable, “unwavering, without hypocrisy.” All we have to do is ask for God’s guidance — and most importantly, listen with a humble, teachable, and obedient heart.

“Call to me and I will answer you, and will tell you great and hidden things that you have not known.” Jeremiah 33:3 (ESV)

So as the week begins, let’s remember that the wisest, most reliable ally we could ask for is with us always. He wants to hear your prayers and questions. He’s never too busy or stressed out. Bring your concerns to Him, whether they’re about work, a relationship, school, health or anything else that kept you awake last night. What are the “great and hidden things” that you can learn, if you only ask?

Have a blessed week!

Walking In the “Not Yet”

To me, mid-March is a perfect times for Lent. Just as we walk through the wilderness with Jesus, we walk through the drab, brown and gray remains of winter. We know that the resurrection is coming, and we know that soon it will be time to break ground and plant seeds. We rejoice that it will be here soon, but we ache because we can’t see it today.

So what do we do as we walk through the “not yet?” I have wondered that very thing in recent mornings, as I walk our dog. I search for those first splashes of color among last November’s dried leaves and brown grass.

“Therefore be patient, brethren, until the coming of the Lord. The farmer waits for the precious produce of the soil, being patient about it, until it gets the early and late rains.” James 5:7 (NASB)

Waiting — derived from the Greek word meaning “expectation” — is a common theme in the Bible as it is in life. I’ve seen spring every year before this year, yet something in me will not rest until I see that flower bud poking through the ground. Like the Psalmist says:

“I wait for the LORD, my soul does wait, And in His word do I hope.” Psalm 139:5 (NASB)

Oh, how he waits. The repetition of the word “wait” in this verse highlights the intensity of this longing and expectation. Look at another translation of the same verse:

“I wait for the LORD, my whole being waits, and in his word I put my hope.” Psalm 139:5 (NIV)

With his whole being, he waits. We do the same. Will my health recover? Will my loved one recover from addiction? Will I get that job? Will someone love me? Our whole being waits.

And hopes!

“You open your hand and satisfy the desires of every living thing.” Psalm 145:16 (NIV)

“And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies.” Romans 8:23 (ESV).

We know we can rely on Him. We anticipate that morning of resurrection. We go deeper into our faith as our “soul does wait.” And just as those first crocuses surprise us every spring, we will jump for joy at the news that “He is risen!” (Matthew 28:6, KJV)

Follow Him

When I was growing up, I would hear other kids talking about the things they planned to give up for Lent.  Chocolate invariably topped many lists, which also included TV, movies, and other fun things. I did not really understand what Lent was at the time, so for years I pictured it a dreary time of doing without.

But what if we focus on the treasures that we receive during this 40-day season? Now that I have had time to mature in my faith, I love the Lenten season as a time of closeness with Jesus. A time to press in and walk with Him.

The next day Jesus decided to leave for Galilee. Finding Philip, he said to him, “Follow me.” John 1:43 (NIV)

In our garden, green shoots push through dead and decaying leaves, stems and black walnut shells left by feasting squirrels. Buds appear on the plum and apple trees. Like our 40-day walk with Jesus in the desert, this gray, damp, cold time of year brings beauty and hope if we look closely enough.

“Come,” he replied, “and you will see.” John 1:39 (NIV)

We can recognize His presence more often during Lent, as we commit to deeper prayer time and closer study of God’s word. We push through the remains of a barren season, grateful for patches of green.

So this is day one of a yearly journey that many will choose. I pray that your week is going well with unexpected blessings.

Monday Eye-Opener: With His Loving Eye

There’s something about Monday morning that brings a strong reaction. A glance at social media proves the obvious — that it’s not a popular morning of the week. But it’s also Blank Slate Day, with a chance to start anew. As Anne Shirley in Lucy Maude Montgomery’s Anne of Green Gables notes, “Tomorrow is always fresh, with no mistakes in it yet.”

In my Monday Eye-Opener posts, I hope to find bits of encouragement to share as we start each week. It certainly helps when we know that we have a loving God who is watching and guiding us.

“I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my loving eye on you.” (Psalm 32:8, NIV)

Did you catch that? God not only watches us and instructs us — He watches “with a loving eye on you.” He loves us! Any counsel or course correction from Him is therefore always for our good and to give us hope. 

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (Jeremiah 29:11, NIV)

When we dedicate our week to pleasing God who loves us, we direct our intentions and energies to the One who has the wisdom and strength that no one else has. The One who created us with a purpose. The One who has loved us since forever, and who never changes or breaks His promises.

What could be a better eye-opener than that? 

Word for 2014: Hope

How do I choose a word — one word — for the year 2014? After all, there are so many “good” words that could make the short list. As I prayed, reflected and meditated on this blogging assignment, I kept coming back to one word.

 

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

This verse was on the wall at a Flagstaff, Arizona shelter for women and children that became my temporary home several years ago. Hope is in the verse, and hope is part of the shelter’s name. This fall, I returned with my husband John to this women’s shelter to share my testimony at their annual banquet. It was an evening of renewed friendship, shared stories, and hope.

Hope returned again this week, as my creative soul began to heal and I sang and played music for the first time in twenty years. This week, John and I embraced hope and became sponsors to a little girl in Ghana. In this joyous season, we sing songs of hope as we greet the newborn King.

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope. Romans 15:13

You can read more ideas from Compassion Bloggers, who are linking up and sharing a word for 2014. What is your word for the coming year?